I believe it’s official now—had blimmin’ better be since there are only a few days to go: yours truly begins a weekly spot on TV One’s Good Morning called ‘You’ve Got Male’. It’s a panel show where men talk about everyday issues, based on a topic selected by the producers. I start Friday, going out live on March 3, 9.30 a.m. I intend to turn it into something intelligent and maybe we can change the world a little there, too—yes, through the mainstream media. I might be the only brand consultant and magazine publisher out there with a regular network TV spot, but if I’m not, please write in and give me some tips!
   I think we can shed some light on understanding between people, even in an entertainment format. And I would like—and I hope I have room—to inject a bit of wit into it. There has been too much talk about how dumbed-down television is these days, so why not revisit the wit of Frasier of Frasier, or Fraser Dick of ‘Dick of the Week’, or Dick Cheney of Quails of the Unexpected?
   On the 10th, I’ll be on Breakfast, same network, at 8.20 a.m., also live. And no, this does not mean I will let up with criticism of TV One news. I was told about this gig long before I was dissing its treatment of the Muslim cartoon affair.
   Brendon Pongia hosts the overall Good Morning show, while Newstalk ZB’s Barry Soper, SPARC’s Paul Sinclair and I try to make sense of what we have to deal with. Barry is older than the rest of us, which I think bodes well. Every successful show that I have rated as a lad has followed a formula of an old guy, some young guys, and a car, or a variation thereof:

• Knight Rider: a car, a stud, and an old man
• Hardcastle & McCormick: a car, a stud, and an old man
• The Sweeney: a car, a stud, and an old man
• The Streets of San Francisco: a car, an old man, and a stud
• The Equalizer: a car, an old man, and an even older man
• Street Hawk: a bike, a stud, and a bald man
• Solo One: a bike, a middle-aged man, and an old man
• B. J. and the Bear: a truck, a stud, and a chimp
• The Dukes of Hazzard: a car, two studs, and an old man
• Starsky & Hutch: a car, two studs, and an old man
• Miami Vice: a car, two studs, and a not-so-old man
• Minder: two cars, a stud, and an old man
• The Professionals: two cars, two studs, and an old man
• The Persuaders: two cars, two middle-aged men, and an old man
• CHiPs: two bikes, two studs, and an old man
• Special Squad: three cars, one stud, and two old men

   I do not know if Mr Sinclair qualifies as a “stud”, but I was told early on that they needed to find a ‘young Dad’ for his role. Maybe he does. Looks like I have the part of the swinging bachelor. The car is not announced. Ergo: ‘You’ve Got Male’: no cars, three studs (or men with varying appearances) and an old man (sorry, Barry). If we can borrow a TVNZ van we can be an under-resourced, nouveau ‘A’ Team. Either that or Straight Eye for the Queer Guy.
   I’ll try to blog while travelling next week about the sights and sounds of a few different cities—and an Aston Martin I am being loaned. I am practising my Scots accent now. Better pretending to be a fictional Aston owner (James Bond) than a factual one (HRH the Prince of Wales). What I will not do is order a bloody vodka martini and damage the drink by saying, ‘Shaken, not shtirred.’ That Bond is a classless cad.
   A more serious post later in the week. Promise. I am genuinely excited as I have always loved live TV, and haven’t done a live spot since last May, so I’ll hope you’ll share a bit of that with me today. Posted by Jack Yan, 08:55  permalink

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