My friend and colleague John Campbell is doing a story on cellphones on Campbell Live on Monday. I have written the below to him, for his research.
• I am yet to have kids and would like to some day, so I refuse to have my testicles irradiated.
• By the same token, men no longer need to get vasectomies if we can shove a couple of Nokias down our pants.
• Text messaging is vaguely above Morse code in sophistication and the amount charged is like paying $3 million for a Ford Focus. Or NZ$1·71 for a litre of petrol. I mean, that’s just dumb.
• I don’t like the idea that people change their habits to suit the technology. I thought technology was here to bend to our will. If we created robots, would we allow them to control us? That would be like having a dead guy run the country. (Obvious exception was the figure of the long-dead Leonid Brezhnev running the USSR with Gorby sitting behind him operating a foot pump.)
• I once was asked to text-message someone. On a borrowed cellphone, it took me half an hour to tap in the goddamn message. Getting uppercase was not intuitive. (If I wanted all lowercase, I would have gone to the Bauhaus and studied design. This is the Queen’s English, for crying out loud.) Took me æons to type out café.
• Why they have not got to the point of letting me talk into the phone and creating a text through speech recognition, I don't know. Or is that too close to making a call?
• At L’Oréal New Zealand Fashion Week 2003, I got out my electric razor and pretended to press buttons on the front, and everyone thought I was texting.
• Mobiles are rotating things you hang over a cot.
   I am not sure if I am allowed to promote another network’s show based on my TV One contract. Ah, screw ’em. What are they going to do? Cut my pay? Posted by Jack Yan, 06:37  permalink

comments

Post a Comment  Links to this post